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1. |
vincent
04:46
|
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|
do you know what they should do?
they should go downtown
they should go to millets
downtown
they should go to millets downtown and purchase
ordnance survey map
2-6-0
1:25,000 scale
2 and a half inches to the mile
they should go downtown and buy that map
that's what they should do
in fact
and i worked this out with a pencil
so
you can't necessarily trust its veracity
they should purchase
625 MILLION copies of this map
and then they should go out and wallpaper
as it were
obliterate
entirely
plaster
the whole region covered by said map
with copies
of the map
this region being
greater nottingham and the vale of belvoir
that's what they should do
this would create an interesting feature
tourists
would love it
many of them spend vast sums of money and aeons of time in a currently fruitless quest for precisely such a vista
imagine the job creation
the boost
to the local economy
world heritage site status awaits
and
the thing is right
these ordnance survey people
they're sticklers for detail
they'd go up in their balloon
they'd look down
they'd think
but our map is no longer an accurate reflection of this area
it's wrong
they'd have to do a new one
they'd do a new one
it'd be an interesting map
being
basically
a picture of 625 MILLION tiny little map-shaped rectangles
so they'd do this new map
what we could then do is
go down to millets
and buy the new map
and do it again
and again
and again
onwards and upwards
as it were
i mean after a bit they'd have to redo the contours and everything
and then
we'd all die
crushed
to near-nonentity
beneath a vast weight of high-quality semi-waterproof paper
safe though in the knowledge of having attained
the one real status available to man
that of becoming
archaeologically
interesting
i put this to my mate vincent
he says that's the most ridiculous thing i've ever heard in my life
which is good
coming from someone who spends about 18 hours a day
online
do you know what they should do?
|
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2. |
fountain
03:30
|
|||
|
it says here
american classic
7A
vic firth (R)
that this was
exactly
the type
of thing
one might
have
expected
to find
emblazoned
across
all that
turn
of the century
leisurewear
never
made any sense
to me
at all
unlike
my reading it out
to you
off
this particular drumstick
on
this particular evening
over
this beat
under
this guise
of
it says here
popular
song
|
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the little typists Nottingham, UK
music by SPANDEX
words by MAZ
hello and welcome; there's an excellent introductory playlist, "looks like there is no activity for the selected timeframe", on the soundcloud site...
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