the reise of beige

by the little typists

/

lyrics

when i started working here
you could smoke on the ward
now you can't even vape on the car-park
there was something of a tradition of a somewhat saucy picture
being blu-tacked
right in your eye-line
just inside the exit doors
upon which
illustration
would be scribbled the maxim
PLEASE RETURN ALL KEYS TO SISTER'S OFFICE
BEFORE LEAVING THE DEPARTMENT

undone by your very human frailty
you were nevertheless impelled
at the end of each shift
to check your pockets
thus
ensuring
not only
the satisfaction of the duty nurse manager
but
even more importantly
an ongoing high standard of patient safety

at such time as such practice was deemed
unacceptable
by some shirt on c-floor
we were forced to use some
imagination
and so appeared
a laminated sheet of A4 paper
asking simply
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS SIGN?
with no mention of keys
at all
let alone any pictorial indelicacy

this proved
remarkably effective
after all
who can help but admire their own wit?
nobody
nor could we ever forget the keys
in our pockets
we sometimes even managed a smile
at the end of an often trying day's work
on the coalface of front-line healthcare

BOOM!

so this lasted a good few years
but there aren't half some miserable bleeders out there
a single snide comment
on one of those FAMILY AND FRIENDS FEEDBACK CARDS
and we were back to square one
my mate sean briefly stuck up this
HAVE YOU SEEN THAT HAVE YOU SEEN THIS SIGN SIGN?
but it was gone in 20 minutes
and
well
he now works in healthcare of the elderly

last week we got this email from a thoroughly modern matron
it was entitled
BLEEP KEY AMNESTY
i didn't even open it

credits

released July 28, 2019
music by SPANDEX
words by MAZ

additional artwork by T.A.D.

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

the little typists Nottingham, UK

music by SPANDEX
words by MAZ

the obvious GILBERT and SULLIVAN comparisons?

lazy journalism.

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