/

about

much of the rhythm track to this one was created from sampled firework noise from the (2009 or thereabouts?) bonfire night shindig on the forest rec, nottingham.
we were a good quarter of a mile away at the time, and hanging a dictaphone out of the studio window.

lyrics

do you know what they should do?
they should go downtown
they should go to millets
downtown
they should go to millets downtown and purchase
ordnance survey map
2-6-0
1:25,000 scale
2 and a half inches to the mile
they should go downtown and buy that map
that's what they should do

in fact
and i worked this out with a pencil
so
you can't necessarily trust its veracity
they should purchase
625 MILLION copies of this map
and then they should go out and wallpaper
as it were
obliterate
entirely
plaster
the whole region covered by said map
with copies
of the map
this region being
greater nottingham and the vale of belvoir
that's what they should do

this would create an interesting feature
tourists
would love it
many of them spend vast sums of money and aeons of time in a currently fruitless quest for precisely such a vista

imagine the job creation
the boost
to the local economy
world heritage site status awaits
and
the thing is right
these ordnance survey people
they're sticklers for detail
they'd go up in their balloon
they'd look down
they'd think
but our map is no longer an accurate reflection of this area
it's wrong
they'd have to do a new one
they'd do a new one
it'd be an interesting map
being
basically
a picture of 625 MILLION tiny little map-shaped rectangles

so they'd do this new map
what we could then do is
go down to millets
and buy the new map
and do it again
and again
and again
onwards and upwards
as it were
i mean after a bit they'd have to redo the contours and everything

and then
we'd all die
crushed
to near-nonentity
beneath a vast weight of high-quality semi-waterproof paper
safe though in the knowledge of having attained
the one real status available to man
that of becoming
archaeologically
interesting

i put this to my mate vincent
he says that's the most ridiculous thing i've ever heard in my life
which is good
coming from someone who spends about 18 hours a day
online

do you know what they should do?

credits

from vincent b​/​w fountain, released March 23, 2022
additional artwork T.A.D.

with thanks to vincent, millets, the ordnance survey

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

the little typists Nottingham, UK

music by SPANDEX
words by MAZ

this is the norm
if not the rule

contact / help

Contact the little typists

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this track or account